


Brainwashing with Friends

by Golden_Asp



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brainwashing, Crack, Gen, Steve needs friends who aren't crazy, This is DUMB, brains need washed too, do not copy to other sites, do not copy without permission, just not the kind you expect, marvelbingo2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 15:56:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19994851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golden_Asp/pseuds/Golden_Asp
Summary: “What…what are they doing?” Clint whispered, staring at Bucky and Tony and quite frankly, terrified for their mental state.“I don’t know,” Steve hissed back, eyes wide.  He had known from the get go that Bucky and Tony would either hate each other, or get along like a house on fire.  Before, he had been hoping they’d be friends.Now, he couldn’t help but wish theydidhate each other.  At least then they wouldn’t have to watch…this.





	Brainwashing with Friends

**Author's Note:**

> so for my Marvel Bingo card, one of the squares was 'brainwashing'. but because it was written 'brain washing' on two separate lines, I literally thought it was some weird kink I'd never heard of and nearly googled it. Instead, this came about. Pure cracky goodness. I don't even know, y'all. 
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> not beta-ed

“What…what are they doing?” Clint whispered, staring at Bucky and Tony and quite frankly, terrified for their mental state.

“I don’t know,” Steve hissed back, eyes wide. He had known from the get go that Bucky and Tony would either hate each other, or get along like a house on fire. Before, he had been hoping they’d be friends. 

Now, he couldn’t help but wish they _did_ hate each other. At least then they wouldn’t have to watch…this.

“How long has this been going on?” Natasha asked. She’d seen some weird shit, but this might just take the cake.

“Over an hour,” Bruce said, looking anywhere but Tony and Bucky.

“I do not understand what’s going on,” Thor said.

“You and me both, pal,” Steve said.

“Should we say something?” Clint asked. “This isn’t normal. They gotta know that.”

No one volunteered. Steve sighed. “Fine. I’ll go.”

He approached the door of the lab. “FRIDAY, ma’am, am I allowed in while they’re doing…that?”

“Boss hasn’t put the lab in lockdown,” FRIDAY said cheerfully, “so I don’t see why not.”

The door slid open and Steve walked in. He stopped and took a deep breath, watching. Rock and roll music drifted through the lab, not overpowering like usual. Steve figured it was in deference to Bucky’s enhanced hearing.

Tony’s tongue stuck out the side of his mouth as he worked, scrubbing away gently. Bucky sat across from him, bent over his own…project…hair tied back with a red bow.

He cleared his throat and they looked up.

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky said easily, smiling at him. 

“Hey, Capsicle,” Tony said, grinning up at him. “Wanna help?”

“Help?” Steve asked faintly. “I want to know what the heck you’re both doing!”

Tony looked between Steve and down at the brain in his hands. “We’re washing brains.”

“I can see that!” Steve said. “My question is why!”

“Because you can’t just let them fester in their jars, Stevie,” Bucky said, putting the brain in his hand into a clean jar with fresh brain juice or whatever the hell one put brains in jars in.

“You what?” Steve asked, sitting down hard. 

What even was his life.

“Why do you even have so many brains in jars, Tony?” Steve asked, watching as Tony took out a new brain and starting washing it lovingly.

“Everyone needs a hobby, Spangles. I don’t come down on you for reading the newspaper every day.”

“Where do you get them?”

“Brains R Us,” Bucky said, tightening the lid on his jar and setting it aside.

Steve stared at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Oh, calm down, tall blond and buff,” Tony said. “They were no one you knew.”

Steve choked on his spit. “What?!”

Tony just grinned, taking the super soft toothbrush to the folds of the brain in his hand. 

“Buck, how did you even get involved in this?” Steve asked. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe they’d all been hit by something in that last battle.

“Tony said he needed help with a brainwashing thing. Granted, this wasn’t what I thought he meant, but it’s very relaxing.”

Steve buried his face in his hands. This couldn’t be real.

“C’mon, man with the plan,” Tony said. “You look like you need to relax. It helps. Trust me.” He waved a brain in front of Steve’s face.

Steve looked between them and sighed.

“Oh, what the hell. Give me the brain, Tony.”

“Yay!” Tony said, handing Steve a brain.

Steve guessed there were worse ways to spend his afternoon than brain washing with his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment. Feed this brain.


End file.
